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At my post a couple of days ago, some interesting ideas were brought up in the comments and I felt I should address those in a new post, because I think many more people could benefit from the concepts.

Being Paralyzed or Being Lazy

You know this one; you’re stuck. Nothing has changed in ages and it’s the same old problems staying put or repeating themselves over and over. There are times it feels as if you are completely paralyzed by all the problems. You can’t seem to overcome them. 

You would rather play video games, watch TV, or surf the Internet for interesting memes and diverting conversation then try to tackle those problems yet again! Sometimes, you are told by others (or yourself) that you are just being lazy because you’re not getting a handle on your life. Oh, that one bites hard!

Why does being told you are lazy bite so hard? Why does it make you feel so miserable?
Because it’s not the truth! (We humans become very uncomfortable around untruths.)
That term “laziness” is about 95% inaccurate (and my observation feels that it is closer to 100%). Much of laziness is actually “overwhelm” (and is the same overwhelm that is behind the feeling of being “paralyzed” described above).

This is an overwhelming world we live in. Having an overload of problems to overcome creates inaction because, well, where does one start? The “lazy” label gets used too much and––this one is key––it is the wrong answer because it doesn’t resolve the situation. Accurately perceived solutions, when implemented, solve problems and make them go away. Inaccurately perceived “solutions” actually cannot be implemented, so they don’t make the problem go away and, what is worse, they divert one’s attention from the possibility of finding the real solution. Once you slap a label on it, it’s a done deal, right? (“Oh, I know your problem … you’re just being lazy!” … but if you accept that as the “solution” why doesn’t it make you want to get up off your butt and solve everything at once? Because it’s not the right answer.)

“Overwhelm” is the right answer, if you feel “paralyzed” by your problems, think you are lazy or just feel “stuck” in your life.

Solving Overwhelm

What is “overwhelm”?
Metaphorically speaking, you’re underneath a pile of rocks so high that you can’t move.
Would you call a guy who is underneath a pile of rocks “lazy” for not bursting out of it in an instant? No, you wouldn’t … ;o7

One solution for overwhelm is the list-writing I covered in my earlier post (https://robingriggswood.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/revealing-your-vision/). Because the antidote to the inaction brought about by overwhelm is action. Even the tiniest bit of action starts to break the hold that overwhelm has upon you. Writing out a list as described in the post is actually a first action. The interesting thing about feeling “paralyzed” is, by it’s very nature, it is a “no motion” thing. No motion is no action and list-writing is an action that starts to unburden you, allowing you to compartmentalize all the stuff that is stuck (no motion) and helps you see some of the things that you can “unstick” right now. If you are terribly overwhelmed, pick things on the list in the column next to your goals that are the easiest ones to do first. The cool thing about that is, you will be starting to create some motion at least. And a bit of motion has the potential to beget more motion––simply because your load is starting to lighten.

Motion is the natural force of life. And, it is so effective, that it is actually a great tool for many things. At one point in my life, I suffered from debilitating depression. A friend of mine passed along something that was passed along to her. When depressed, force yourself to jump out of bed the second you wake up in the morning, then move through your morning routine as fast as you can. I looked like an idiot brushing my teeth like I was in the dental Olympics … ;oD … but it worked like a charm to get me through each day. I recognize that this may not work for everyone, yet it still is a fair example of the potential motion has as a tool to kickstart one’s life.

Your Vision

“Ah, c’mon Robin, I read your post, but isn’t that ‘vision’ thing just some airy-fairy, metaphysical crap that ‘positive thinkers’ dole out like useless candy all the time?!”

Well, having one’s “vision” manifesting itself today is actually how we humans are wired.
Case in point, how many times have you made a mistake working at something because you didn’t have your full attention on it? We create what we have our attention on and, conversely, don’t create well what we don’t have our attention on. It is no different for the greater, long term goals we have in our lives.

One of the points brought up in the discussion was about “knowing” that a specific goal was unachievable because it was impossible. And that brings one right back to being “stuck”.

When you are writing out your list of goals, it important to know that one’s primary goals are not THINGS. One’s primary goals for a life vision should be based on standards (convictions, morals, precepts, etc.) and the circumstances surrounding those.
For example: Joe may write “have Amy as a my girlfriend” as one of his “goals” in the main column. He now has the potential to be completely thwarted in that goal, because of the “impossibility” factor. If Amy doesn’t happen to have him as one of her goals, Joe is “stuck” again. However, if Joe were to take a good look at the aspects of Amy that make him want her, he is now getting closer to the mark. He is now basing his vision for what he wants in life on his standards. He may like blonds, he may like sexy, nice and friendly women, qualities Amy possesses. But as he starts to look further at this goal, based on his standards alone, he may also find that he wants a companion that wants him. A characteristic that Amy may not possess. The cool thing about this is, once Joe starts basing this life goal on standards instead of a specific person, possibilities show themselves that may never have occurred to him. Perhaps someone better walks into his life because his focus was directed at his overall standards, and not narrowed by looking at a singular person.

So, getting the new Porsche you want is not actually a “goal” on your list — “not having a new Porsche” could be one of those things that you write to the side of your actual goal (not having it could be a barrier). But, there may be other barriers to your actual goal as well, and you have to get rid of all of them. Phrase your goal based on your standards, for example “To be able to get anywhere in a vehicle that is comfortable, fast, beautiful and safe.” (Or something like that … you get to figure out the wording … ;o7) And, maybe, a Porsche doesn’t really answer your goal after all, maybe something else does. “Things” are secondary goals and, when you maintain your focus on your primary goal, you may find some of those things aren’t what you wanted after all.

Once you align your life vision with your own standards, it makes it possible for you to see more options, alternatives and other courses of action beyond the attainment of a singular “thing”.

One’s “vision” for their life is actually so much broader than most people conceive. It’s composed primarily of overall standards and rarely things. Remain true to your standards alone and it has the potential to unlock creative solutions that you may never have considered.

Robin Griggs Wood - Google+ - Revealing Your Vision -- Part 2 At my post a couple of…

Robin Griggs Wood – Google+ – Revealing Your Vision — Part 2.

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